It's the matter of thinking...

Where we are coming from? What we speak, what we listen, how we perceive the arrangement of things around us, ranging from relationships which we inherit at the time of birth to the other things which complete the picture of our lives and where we are directing ourselves to a place where we can form agreement with others who are associated with us directly or indirectly.

We might encounter a constant complain, where we individuals often complain about misunderstandings with others. Garima is going through the same state and complains in front of her friends, “ I just don’t understand why my family isn’t understanding my point of view on the issues personal to me.” Well the emphasis should not be on the fact that a particular issue is personal or not, the importance must be laid on the fact why such considerations arise.

THE REASON

Our individual ways of thinking are a result of what we learn about ourselves, our families, our cultures and our world as we grow up. Each of us has different interactions with people, places and things, and different methods and speeds of processing information. How we absorb and process these interactions determines who we become. And who we become is a sum of those experiences that drive our thinking and, subsequently, our behaviors.

Consequently what we become in this process of development may not fall into the correct lines of our family values, cultural norms etc. Our thought process may go offside. That’s where the individuality comes to play.

So is there a solution to this problem of understanding, misunderstanding, interpreting things unlike others and perceiving things the way we want irrespective of the fact that it may prove destructive to our well-being. Say for instance a 4 year child considers studies as of no use and refuses to enter a school. Now the agreement that parents would form in such a situation with the child would be that they would buy him a toy car if he enters a school and so the child does. But such a agreement might fail when the child would develop his understanding.

THE SOLUTION- BROADEN YOU HORIZON OF THOUGHT.

The solution is not in reaching out an agreement but ideas must be shared, worked and reworked upon. If synthesis of thoughts isn’t possible then people must talk and exchange thoughts. In case of this child who doesn’t want to enter school, parents could try to know the other interests of the child and channelize them, at same time motivating him to study as well.

With each day, a person’s horizon of thoughts must expand and allow space for more flexibility, where we can share thoughts and transform them for better. And this can be done in any family or culture. Because all these institutions are for the growth of a person and not for imposing restrictions on someone’s identity which might be different from a larger entity.